Five Ways to Cultivate Endurance in Your Children (By Modeling it in Yourself)
While we were studying European history with The Kind Kingdom we read about the Shackleton Expedition. In this famous antarctic expedition, a crew of 27 men was stranded after their ship was crushed by the expanding polar ice. The men had to endure months of exposure to sub-zero temperatures with no hope of being rescued, and an arduous journey across epic high seas to reach civilization.
It’s a little bit like motherhood.
Sure, sleepless nights and the threat of sickness are not nearly as bad when we are in the comfort of our own homes instead of on an ice floe, but the same leadership strategies that saved the crew of the Endurance can help us as well. We can look to Ernest Shackleton for motherhood advice, and we can be heroes in our own homes (and cultivate heroism in our children in the process).
Shackleton stayed calm. Despite the treacherous circumstances, Shackleton presented himself to the men as confident and in charge.
He didn’t meltdown in front of them, or lose his temper. His men respected him because he was consistent.
This can be hard for us as mothers. We are with our children 24/7 and it can feel like an inhuman feat to stay calm and serene when life happens. It might not look the same way, but if we can develop consistency in our habits, and calm responses, we can help our own little crew develop healthy habits and emotions.
Shackleton exhibited endurance. His family motto was “By endurance we conquer” and he exhibited that to the men. He slept in the worst sleeping bag, embraced the same level of deprivation as his men, and didn’t complain about it. He pushed through hardship cheerfully and inspired his men by his sacrifice.
As mothers, if we can push through labor, sleepless nights, swollen feet, temper tantrums, and long days of homeschooling with busy toddlers in the mix, we can inspire our own children to push through the inevitable hardship of life.
Shackleton kept the men busy. Instead of sitting around focusing on the problem and bemoaning the fact that they were stranded in the ice, he kept his crew busy. They hunted for food, swabbed the decks (before the ship sank), and put on plays. He was creative about keeping them occupied so that they wouldn’t get depressed.
As mothers, we need to give our children enough time to explore their own interests, but when we don’t present ideas and activities, and instead just let our children veg out on devices, we end up creating worse problems for ourselves. If instead, we set up healthy learning environments, and give our children productive rhythms and activity ideas, we will secure smooth and easy days.
Shackleton had special food and drinks to boost morale. When the crew was fighting through icy waters to get to civilization, they pulled out hot drinks to warm the men. When Christmas came around and they were still stranded, there was a special ration available. While their daily diet consisted mostly of blubber and penguin meat, there were a few treats to keep them going.
As mothers, we can create a festive atmosphere just by offering a special meal. Finishing out a year with The Kind Kingdom with an English tea, or celebrating The Playful Pioneers by baking a pie are simple ways to bring a sense of celebration into tedious days and create memories that will sustain us through trying times.
Shackleton kept the men moving toward a goal. Instead of sitting around waiting for rescue, they kept moving forward. As mothers it can be difficult to think of goals, our life with young children can feel like perpetual survival mode, but having small goals for ourselves and our children can make the difference in morale. “When we finish this math resource, we will go to the beach for the day”, or “If I read aloud every day for a month, I’ll treat myself to a massage” can be the small incentives needed to push us forward.
We will hit inevitable roadblocks, and seasons where it feels like we are just hanging on for dear life, but when we keep the prize in front of us, even just the ultimate prize of heaven, we can find fresh reserves of strength to lead our crew of beloved children into adulthood, and model for them the character qualities of grit and endurance.
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